


Calm after the storm

by abearofverylittlebrain



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: F/M, broadfic, inner monologue for both of them, obviously contains spoilers for the whole series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 09:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3442847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abearofverylittlebrain/pseuds/abearofverylittlebrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set at the end of/ after S2E8. </p><p>After Alec Hardy and Ellie Miller parted ways they try to move on with their lives. But forgetting about the person they spent the last months with is easier said than done. </p><p>Only slightly shippy which means it can be seen as friendship as well. </p><p>Title inspired by "Calm after the storm" by The Common Linnets</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calm after the storm

‘What time’s your taxi coming?’ Ellie asked as she watched Hardy gathering his bags. The situation already felt awkward enough, but she couldn’t just stand there and watch him pack in silence.

‘About half an hour’, Hardy set another bag on the small table in the middle of the room. ‘You don’t have to wait’, he added and turned to lean against the dining table.

‘Right’, she said a little too quickly as she pushed herself away from the doorframe she had been leaning against. She didn’t want to wait. She had no idea what to say or do. The final moments of a farewell always made her feel uncomfortable and this was no exception.

And yet… something kept her from walking out that door and out of this man’s life. Not sure whether to stay or leave, she hesitantly shifted her weight back and forth, eying the bags on the table in front of her. Eventually their eyes met for a split second, before he gazed at the ground and turned away again. The silence was deafening.

‘Miller, I couldn’t have done this without you’ he finally stated after a deep sigh which made it clear he haven’t had an easy time saying this. Ellie wondered if it was because of his pride or because he felt just as overwhelmed as she did.

‘No, you couldn’t,’ she said, raising an eyebrow at him, ‘and you didn’t.’ Ellie gave him one of her small, challenging smiles to get rid of the tension filling the room. It didn’t work.

‘Seriously’ he said, and the honesty in his gaze made her shiver. This wasn’t the Alec Hardy she got to know over the past few months. Alec Hardy was never sincerely nice to anyone. Especially not to her, Ellie Miller. He always teased her in one way or another, and so did she.

‘No, don’t be nice to me. That’s not how it works.’ She didn’t know how to cope with Alec Hardy being nice.  
When he tried to hug her after Joe pleaded ‘not guilty’, she made fun of him for wanting to ‘hug it out’. When he tried to comfort her after she found out Tom was going in the box, she rejected him.  
No, no she didn’t know how to cope with Alec Hardy being nice and most certainly, she didn’t want to find out now. _Because what if she liked it?_

“All right”, the man opposite her just rolled his eyes and groaned.

_Do you have to go?_

‘So, where you gonna go?’ she asked instead, trying to take her mind off the sadness she suddenly felt when she thought about  Alec Hardy no longer being a part of her everyday life. After all he was just her ex-boss whom she helped solving a case. There was no reason to feel sad about him leaving.

‘I don’t know… uhm, close to Daisy. I need to be near my daughter’.

‘Yeah,’ she glanced to the door, ‘quite right’. Thank god he didn’t mention Tess now. Ellie sighed. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she needed to get off her chest before this knob left town. _Left her._

_Can’t you stay?_

‘Well’, she fought the urge to actually ask him that, because how stupid would that sound? She didn’t need him. She got her family back and her friends and… if she was honest with herself, they didn’t even get along very well. Still Ellie felt tears prickle in her eyes and a lump in her throat when she remembered what they had been through.

She approached him and held out her hand for him to shake. ‘Okay, thanks for everything’, she said and meant ‘Thanks for being my only friend when I most needed one. Thanks for believing in me. Thanks for keeping me upright. Thanks for offering the kind of comfort I needed.’

Ellie had to get out of here now. She couldn’t hold his gaze without feeling the lump in her throat getting bigger and bigger. Every second she spent in this room… this stupid room where she spent nights sitting on the floor, working through old files, drinking his tea and eating his biscuits… Every second she spent here made it harder for her to hold back her tears.

‘Handshake?’ he asked in a tone that made it clear he expected something different. Slowly he got up from the table to face her.

‘Yeah’ she said, eyes fixed on the ground. She could feel the way he looked at her. It was longing, sad, yet somehow… hopeful?

‘Not hugging you’, she added. No, clearly it was disappointed now.

He took her hand decisively. It was a good, firm handshake. A proper handshake. A proper goodbye for colleagues who finished working with each other. She couldn’t help but sniffle. This really was goodbye.

‘Look after yourself, Miller’ he smiled sadly, holding her hand tight. If she didn’t know better, she’d say his voice trembled a bit. Just like his hand.

Ellie Miller would never admit it, but part of her wished he would have pulled her in a hug now. But the moment passed and so she squeezed his hand a last time and nodded. She had to leave before the first tears started trickling down her cheeks.

Moving towards the door Ellie glanced at him one last time.  She couldn’t even say ‘Goodbye’. The lump in her throat was so big, the moment she opened her mouth the only thing left would be sobs.

‘What about Joe?’ Hardy looked at her with concern.

‘He’s been dealt with’ was all she managed to say before her vision went blurry. Giving him a last forced smile she opened the door and slipped outside, just in time the first tear ran down her cheek.

* * *

The sun was already setting when Alec Hardy watched the town pass by outside the car window. It felt odd, leaving. One part of him was relieved to finally be able to move on, to leave this small town and its sometimes unnerving residents behind. However another part of him, which felt ridiculously close to his heart, ached at the thought of moving away.

Driving past the town which had become his home for the last months, he tried to remember what had brought him here in the first place. Back then he ran from his past, looking for a fresh start somewhere he could just do his job. Somewhere he could just be him, Alec Hardy, Britain’s worst cop. Bitter, cynical and on his own.

If the time he had spent here had taught him anything, it was that you never are alone in towns like this. There is always someone watching you from behind their curtains. It’s impossible to be left alone and at peace. Not with a community like this.

Not with Ellie Miller, he thought, spotting an orange dot somewhere in the distance. Before he could perceive if it really was her, the taxi turned left and the bright orange dot on the beach disappeared.

_Miller._

The thought of her made him shake his head. What an awkward situation it was when they said goodbye. Of course it was his fault. He didn’t know what to say to her. But how should he have known? How does one thank a person who changed life for the better? There is no guide to that.

One couldn’t say he hadn’t tried, because he had. Alec had tried to thank her in his own, admittedly awkward, way. But that’s how things were between them. A bit weird, ever since they first met and she accused him of stealing her job.

_A bit weird._

Outside it was getting darker rapidly now. With a sigh Alec sank back into the seat and leaned against the headrest. Turning his head to the left he looked up to the sky which was now shrouded in clouds. It wouldn’t take long till it started raining. Beneath, fields passed by his window faster and faster as the taxi made its way on the empty highway.

After all they had been through, a handshake was how they said goodbye. Alec couldn’t quite believe it. He would have hugged her. Not because he wanted to be closer to her, no. But hugging her might have been the only way she could have understood how grateful he was for her help. He had never been a man of many words. And most of the times he had tried, it had gone horribly wrong. So he thought a hug would do nicely. But what did she do? She held out her hand for him to shake it. Obviously Miller wasn’t the kind of woman for hugs.

Maybe he should’ve hugged her nonetheless. ‘Not going to hug you’ wasn’t the same as if she had said ‘I don’t want to hug you’. Or ‘Don’t hug me’. Thinking about it, all she really said was _she_ wasn’t going to hug _him_. Did that by any chance mean it would have been okay if _he_ had hugged _her_?

Alec shook his head to get rid of the thought but he knew that somewhere, in the back of his head, he would ask himself this question for a long time. Bloody Miller. He would miss her. If somebody would have asked him about it, he would have denied it, but in fact he grew very fond of this woman and her orange jacket.

Maybe he could call her one day. Ask her how she’s been and how the boys were and whether she got her job back and how she got on with renovating the house… Or maybe she would call. They were friends now, weren’t they? And that’s what friends do, call each other from time to time. Maybe meet up for a coffee, catching up on each other’s lives. He wondered if Miller would consider them to be friends.

Alec watched the rain fall against the window and drew in a deep breath. He would probably know in time. 

* * *

‘Sweet dreams, darling’, Ellie bent down to kiss her son goodnight as she covered him with his blanket. She had been standing there for at least the past ten minutes, watching Fred sleep so peacefully as if nothing had ever happened to his family.

Ellie sighed. What would she give if she could sleep through the night just once. She could hardly remember the last time she enjoyed a peaceful sleep. Most of the times she woke up in the middle of the night, feeling lonely. Since she moved back into her house it got even worse. She was still sleeping in the same bed she used to share with Joe, only that it felt much bigger now. Of course she planned on getting a new one as soon as possible. But so far it had been a week since the trial had ended and she didn’t even find the time to look through the catalogues her sister gave her.

On her way to the bathroom she checked on Tom who was lying in bed, reading one of his books. Since they had moved back in he always let his door open a crack. Ellie never asked him why, but she liked it. It made her feel closer to him, in a way.

Once she reached her room she kicked off her slippers and sat down on her side of the bed to change into her pyjamas. What used to be her side of the bed, she thought. It was all hers now. Her gaze lingered on the empty spot beside her. She missed having someone there. Not Joe, no. But when you shared your bed with another person for over 12 years it feels wrong to have one all on your own.

Ellie ran a hand down her face and started unbuttoning her blouse. The last time she slept well probably was at the hotel in Sandbrook with Hardy lying next to her. Alec Hardy, this knob. Ellie tried not to think about him too often.

It had been a week since he left town and she already missed him more than she would admit. She shouldn’t miss him, really. But then again, he was the only person she had talked to on a daily base. She had seen him every day and he was the only one who had been on her side all of the time. Of course she missed having him around. And the fact she didn’t even know where he went to didn’t help.

Done with putting on her pyjama Ellie got into bed and reached for the book on her bedside table. Maybe she shouldn’t have kept him at arm’s length, like she had. But then again she wasn’t ready for letting someone in again. Especially not a man. And over all, Hardy had his own family to take care of, now that he got his life back. What a relief this must have been for him. She remembered seeing him cry in the interrogation room after it was clear who had murdered the girls. Part of her wanted to comfort him, but then she decided it would be better to leave him some space.

After all it was Alec Hardy. The man who thought calling a colleague by her first name wasn’t professional. She knew it was ridiculous, but she even missed the way he used to say ‘Miller’. Ellie looked at the book in her lap and put it back on her bedside table. She wasn’t in the mood to read. Instead she reached for the light switch to turn off the lamp over her head.

Lying in the dark she listened to her own breathing. It was quiet without another person in the room. Quiet and lonely. In moments like that she tried to remember what it was like sleeping next to Hardy in the hotel room. She had slept well that night, she really had. His soft snoring had somehow lulled her to sleep and made sure she didn’t feel alone. Thinking about it, she didn’t need someone to cuddle. No, Ellie would have been fine with someone just lying next to her so that she could hear another person’s breathing.

Enough thinking done for today, she told herself as she rolled over to her side. Thinking about how lonely she was wouldn’t make her feel less lonely. Yet it didn’t help that the last thing she saw every night before she closed her eyes was the empty spot next to her. Sometimes she wished Hardy would lie there. Not as her husband or anything. Just… just that he was there. Was that weird? Probably.

'A bit weird', she mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

‘Check please’, Alec Hardy was sitting at the counter of the small bakery he liked to visit during lunch breaks. It was one of the few places in this town where you could get a decent lunch. ‘Decent’, for him, meant no fatty fast food. Of course there was the occasional fish n’ chips break now and then, but the pacemaker had been in for nearly half a year now and so far it had been going well. He didn’t want to risk anything.

Waiting for the girl to come over, he went through his notes, absentmindedly playing with the grape he left on his plate. He always saved those for the last bite when ordering a piece of the homemade fruit tart. Had to be careful with grapes, one might choke on the seeds. Because other than those that landed on his hospital bed over a year ago, these weren’t seedless.

He didn’t think about Miller anymore. Well, at least not that often. Just occasionally, when he found a grape on his fruit tart. Or when he was driving in his car, having trouble finding a radio station he liked. Or when he spotted an orange jacket somewhere. Or…

‘Coffee and fruit tart’, the girl, Carol was her name if he remembered right, handed him the check as she was passing.

‘Yeah, thanks’ he nodded and put it next to his plate.

Sometimes he wondered how she was. Miller, that is. From time to time he caught himself thinking about what she was doing right now. He wondered whether she got her job back or even got her promotion. And how Tom might be, and Fred, little wee Fred. Did they ever go to the fair and tried the bumper cars? He wondered if they were happy now and how they got along with the other people in town. And sometimes he even wondered if Miller was going out with Brian now. Dirty Brian, hopefully not.

Alec put aside his notes and took the last sip of coffee.  He had thought about calling her, he really had. There were times where he had caught himself scrolling up and down the contacts in his phone, being ever so close to tap on her name. In the first month after he had moved here it happened at least twice a week. However the work he had to do got more, and with the lonely and boring nights becoming fewer the moments where he was just about to call did too. He still thought about it though, from time to time. Then one time he was chasing a suspect he lost his phone somewhere in a field. By the time he had found it, it was broken, soaked in rainwater and soil. All the numbers were lost and so was the temptation of calling Miller.

He took a fiver from his wallet and put it next to the check. You know, she could have called too, if she wanted. But she didn’t, so Alec assumed she didn’t want to call or stay in contact. Probably she didn’t need him, now that she got her family and friends back. He was happy for her but it didn’t change the fact he sometimes missed her as his colleague… and friend.

‘Oh well,’ he mumbled, downing the glass of water he got with his coffee, ‘time to get back to work’. It was the last day before his two week long holiday would start, so at least he had something to look forward to.

He grabbed his notes and wallet to put it back in his pocket, when suddenly his phone rang. Reassuring himself he still had five minutes left he glanced at his phone. Unknown number. For all he knew it could be someone calling because of the new case he took on.  

‘DI Hardy’, he answered the call as he got up from his stool and put the grape in his mouth, ready to leave.

The familiar voice on the other end nearly made him choke on the seeds.

‘He’s back.’

**Author's Note:**

> There might be a second part to this, if people like it.


End file.
